Dave and Chris will be appearing live at Orland Park Library. Dave will give a book away for free to the first person to yell Chris loves alpacas! You have to yell it after the program begins. It should be a fun time, so come out to the meet the author event. For more information, go to Orland Park Library

Come see Dave and Chris discuss their book aat the Glenside Public Library. For more information, check out http://www.glensidepld.org/. We generally don’t prepare for these things, so we start off discussing how we wrote the book, and usually end up in a fight. There’s nothing like seeing a couple of overweight guys rolling around on the floor of the library crying and clutching there family jewels. Come out and cheer for Dave to win.
It starts at 7:00 p.m. and the address is 25 E. Fullerton in Glendale Heights.

Every year, I hear crazy stories about jobs handled by police officers during the holidays. If you’ve ever had to shop in a mall, you know that people get a little nutso this time of year. Being laid up at home this year means I didn’t hear much about what happened in Chicago, but thanks to the internet, there are stories from around the country.
Robert Smithson of Kelowna Capital News posted some fun stories:

In Vancouver last week, police were called to the Rusty Gull pub after a couple of Santas enjoying some “Christmas spirits” apparently took offence to another patron. The man was apparently seen approaching the two jolly fellows in red inside the bar.

The Santas were long gone when police arrived.

In Lubbock, Texas, fire officials said a Texas man who had to be rescued from the chimney of his house after several hours of being stuck claimed he wasn’t trying to be Santa Claus?. He was just locked out of his house.

There’s always been that urban legend about the guy who get’s stuck in the chimney and dies. His family thinks he’s run off until they light a fire and find the body. This guy apparently didn’t want to spend money on a locksmith when he got locked out.

Merry Christmas from the Beat Cop’s Guide. Chris and Dave hope that this, the last Christmas will be the best ever.

You ever tell stories to your kids about walking 5 miles through snowdrifts uphill both ways to get to school? The “News of the Weird” has the definitive Hard Road to School story. Kids going to school in Pili, China face a 120 mile trek that includes:

…an inches-wide path cut into a cliff over a 1,000-foot drop, a 600-foot-long zip-line drop and crossings of four rivers, which are easier in winter when they are frozen.

The end is near for these kids, and the stories of how easy it is for upcoming generations is about to begin.

The kids, ages 6 to 17, must make the chaperoned treks four times a year — coming and going for each of two long sessions. According to one teacher, Ms. Su, the kids generally enjoy the adventure. The government is building a road to the village, but it will not be finished until 2013.

This may be a little off the beaten path for the Beat Cop’s Guide. The Library of Congress is probably the most misunderstood governmental agency. Most people think that it’s where congressmen go to check out the latest W.E.B. Griffin novel. That’s what thought at one time.
My interest in the Library of Congress started when they called me. I thought it was a joke or some kind of weird sales call. I blew them off and they called our publisher and told her that there was another author named “David Haynes” who had some books. Since “The Beat Cop’s Guide to Chicago Eats” was about to be listed in the Library of Congress, they wanted to be able to differentiate me from the other David Haynes. You can now look up David Joseph Haynes in the Library of Congress. It may sound stupid, but to me that means I’m going to live forever.
Chris once explained how he uses the Library of Congress to me. If you regularly read Chris’ blog “Death by Children,” or some of his other writings, then you will notice he uses old pictures.

When he does that he searches for non-copywritten photos that match whatever he is writing about. He found that most of the time he was getting them from the Library of Congress.
The reason I’m writing about it now is because I was watching the History Channel show “Modern Marvels which gives a really comprehensive history of the Library. Also, the library has been in the news due to the fact that earlier this week, they announced that they would be saving a copy of every public tweet ever posted on Twitter.
One of the coolest things you can do is check out the online digital collection. they are posting old recordings, old movies and the like. One thing to check out is the music section. They have taken vinyl and uploaded it. My kids have never heard vinyl records, so now I can show them the difference in sound that my generation has lived through. Here is an old 78, Hard Hearted Hannah

If you had been in the hospital for three months, where you go to eat when you got out?
I remember when my wife got out of the hospital when our son was born she really wanted a McDonald’s cheeseburger. Granted, she had given up alcohol, cigarettes, and ate healthy for nine months so she had 3 times as much junk food withdrawal and can be excused.
In my case I have been eating hospital food for three months. I’m getting out Tuesday after mastering my wheelchair and my walker. I will hopefully get out in time for a nice lunch with my wonderful wife, but where to go? The closest places will be Brickhouse for wings, maybe Vaughn’s, Superdawg. Also all the various junkfood places. Or a good beef place, maybe Jay’s. Where would you go?

I’m personally fond of Moody’s on Broadway. I’ve had some really good cheeseburgers around town. I’d like to know where is the best. Vote on Twitter, Facebook, or this website. If we get a lot of places, we’ll create a poll. Tell us what you think, the place has to be in Chicago and not a chain restaurant. A chain is defined as a company with more than two restaurants, so Five Guys is out, as is Wendy’s.

Ron Santo voted in to the Baseball Hall of Fame

Eight Absurd Texts That Make You Wish Your Mom Didn’t Have An iPhone http://t.co/BIXwqvT3 via @PBHNetwork